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The years of the Spanish Inquisition
were a hell on earth for people accused

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practicing witchcraft and being in
league with the devil.

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Many times condemned by their own
friends and neighbors, they were tried

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tortured by official inquisitors until
they pleaded guilty of the charges

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against them, whether they were guilty
or not.

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What is not so commonly known about this
terrible error, however,

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is that some of the inquisitors actually
enjoyed torturing their victims.

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They derived great pleasure out of
hearing their prisoners' screams of

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and sometimes they would even force
their unwilling captives to commit acts

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depravity, simply because, beneath their
righteous -minded exteriors, they

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themselves were extremely depraved
creatures.

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But as a psychiatrist specializing in
all kinds of sexual psychoses, I've made

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lifelong study of human history, and I
can assure you that while the era of the

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Inquisition is far behind us, the secret
and suppressed sexual urges of mankind

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are still very much with us.

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Even today.

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Claire Green is 23 years old, and when
she came to see me at my office in San

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Francisco, she told me she had started
sneaking around her neighborhood and

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looking in people's windows shortly
after she was married.

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When I was returning home from shopping,
I had... I heard all sorts of

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intriguing sounds coming from my
neighbor's house next door.

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And I was curious about them.

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So, very carefully, I snuck up to their
window and I looked inside.

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They were having sex.

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Claire admitted that at first she was
startled by what she saw when she looked

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through the window.

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She started becoming very excited at
seeing what her neighbors Fred and Angie

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were doing with each other.

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Claire said she had never before seen
other people having sex.

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The more I watched, the more I realized
how turned on I was getting.

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Fred and Angie weren't really doing
anything my husband and I didn't do in

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But it was very exciting for me to watch
somebody else doing it.

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Then I suddenly realized something.

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I thought it was odd that it hadn't
struck me right away.

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But I suppose the first shock of seeing
Fred and Angie in bed together, it may

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be temporarily forget the most...

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startling thing about it.

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That Fred and Angie were brother and
sister.

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Claire Green watched her neighbors all
through the afternoon, fascinated by

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their incestuous lovemaking.

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She began wondering, for example, what
other people might be like in the

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of their bedrooms.

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What kind of secret lusts and desires
did others have?

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Was she suppressing secret sexual
desires?

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She didn't know.

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But now, she knew she had to find out.

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It became an obsession with me.

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Going out, sneaking around, and peeking
into bedroom windows to see what I could

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see. I kept it up for months.

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I was seeing people I knew, and seeing
them as I had never seen them before.

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Many times I was absolutely shocked by
what I saw them doing.

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And other times, what they did in bed
filled me with such excitement I thought

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I'd go crazy.

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I'd get the idea I wanted to show myself
to them.

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And then jump right into bed with them.

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I've never in my whole life been in bed
with two people at one time.

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And I couldn't help wondering what it
would be like.

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Oh, but that isn't what really started
bothering me after a while.

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It was something else.

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And it had to do with girls I'd seen in
bed.

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Girls. Like Bonnie Simpson.

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Very good friend of mine.

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She was so lovely, I thought.

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It wasn't just Bonnie Simpson, though,
who began fascinating Claire so much.

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It was, she told me, really all the
girls she'd watched in bed.

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And she became frightened of this
attraction.

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Afraid to think about what it might
really mean.

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More than getting myself excited by
watching other people having sex, I

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realizing that I was actually becoming
obsessed with the crazy, wild feelings

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I'd get whenever I saw a naked girl in
bed.

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I'd catch myself breathlessly watching
her mouth, her body, everything about

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her. And sometimes, late at night, when
my husband and I were having sex at

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home,

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I'd watch myself dreaming that it wasn't
my husband who was going down on me.

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But a girl.

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A girl like Bonnie.

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Or some other girl. Any girl.

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The thought of another girl crawling
down my body and going down on me drove

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wild with sexiness.

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And I knew it.

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And that's when I started drinking
heavily.

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Trying to drown myself in alcohol.

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Rather than stay sober and wonder if my
suppressed sex desire was that I wanted

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to be a lesbian.

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Was that it?

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Did I secretly want to be a lesbian?

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No matter how frightened these thoughts
made me, the next day there I was again,

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sneaking around and watching, watching
and enjoying the girls I was looking at.

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Hmm.

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Thank you.

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Yes, it was true.

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Claire started drinking, trying to
confuse her thoughts so she wouldn't be

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thinking about what kind of secret
sexual urges she might have been trying

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suppress for who knows how many years.

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But she was hardly alone.

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Many people have resorted to alcohol for
exactly the same reasons.

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On the other hand, however, there have
been those people who have given full

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vent to their urges no matter what they
were.

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One alarming example of this that I can
recall is the group of young women and

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men who called themselves the Cycle
Devils.

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of freaked out, maladjusted young people
who, three years ago, rode their way

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into a hellish reputation of terror,
violence, sexual assault, and even

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Whatever they felt like doing, no matter
what it was, they did it.

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held back on any of their insane desires
and depraved lusts, and it finally took

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the combined might of the authorities of
three counties in southwestern Utah to

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finally put an end to their insidious
and despicable ways.

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Led by Mose Anderson, a hulking brute
who enjoyed torturing people, the cycle

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devils often kidnapped helpless young
girls and took them to their secret

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hideout in the Pine Valley Mountains.

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At their hideout, they subjected their
frightened prisoners to some of the most

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depraved rituals ever recorded.

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But this was exactly what Mose Anderson,
their leader, wanted them to do.

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He was a deranged psychopath who
demanded strict obedience to his evil

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and the members of his gang seemed only
too glad to satisfy him.

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Under his orders, they inflicted great
pain and suffering on their prisoners.

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Girls who often died because of all of
the abuse heaped on them.

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The cycle devils are one of the most
extreme examples of letting loose hidden

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urges that I can think of.

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The opposite would, of course, be a girl
like Claire Green, who took to drink to

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suppress her thoughts and desires and
not face them for whatever they might

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mean.

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Yeah!

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I kept drinking heavily, hoping my
husband would never find out.

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But after a while, drinking didn't help
at all.

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And I realized I couldn't run away
anymore for what I was really thinking

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For who I was thinking about.

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Annie.

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Annie Conway.

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We had gone to school together.

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I was intrigued by Annie.

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Yes, that's the word.

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Intrigued.

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At school, I'd always hear these really
incredible stories about her, and I was

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intrigued by them.

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Was Annie really as amoral as everybody
said?

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I used to hear that she was some kind of
peeping Tom, and that she'd had her

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first pair by the time she was 13.

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The guys at school used to say she'd do
anything you wanted, if she liked you.

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She could also get a hold of liquor and
dirty magazines and let you look at

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them.

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But she had to like you first.

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I think I was particularly fascinated by
hearing about how she'd even go to bed

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with a girl if she liked the girl.

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Do you think you started becoming a
peeping Tom because you heard that your

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friend Annie also went around looking in
windows?

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I don't know.

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Homer, I don't know what to think.

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But Annie certainly seemed to lead a
wild life compared to mine.

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My life was always so sheltered.

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And Annie's was so carefree and
promiscuous.

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No! No!

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Individuality and freedom have almost
always appealed to people.

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And certainly Anne Conway seemed to
express both these qualities.

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It was little wonder she held such
fascination for a girl like Claire then.

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But the product of a broken home, Anne
Conway's life was hardly the exciting

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life Claire thought the girl was
leading.

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As they say, the grass always looks
greener on the other side.

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oh oh

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Yes,

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Ann Conway was a devilish girl, all
right.

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Looking into windows and spying on
people while they had sex.

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Going to limits with guys and other
girls from a school.

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Even making obscene phone calls when the
mood suited her.

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But actually...

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Anne was a very lonely girl, shy and
lonely.

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She didn't have many real friends at
all.

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Even the father she lived with didn't
seem to like her very much, nor for that

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matter did most of her school friends.

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When she put out for them, she was okay
in their book, but otherwise they really

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didn't want much to do with her.

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So she sought her own private pleasures.

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Mixed up about sex in her endless
tormented search for love and

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Anne later became involved with Sookie,
a Korean housegirl who worked for a most

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unusual family, a husband and wife who
enjoyed sex orgies with their friends

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who wanted Sookie to join in.

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Afraid to lose her job, Sookie Khan did
join in, and often Anne would secretly

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watch the goings -on.

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those people seeming to have such a good
time together on drugs and sex made Ann

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feel that much more lonely, however.

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But she liked Suki well enough, and they
got along.

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A few years after Claire and Ann had
their affair, Ann and Suki took an

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apartment together.

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It was a relationship that was destined
to end in misery, though.

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Because high on drugs one evening, Ann
committed suicide.

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She did it unwittingly, of course.

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But perhaps that ultimate escape from
the loneliness of her life was what she

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had secretly been yearning for all
along.

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We shall never know.

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Anne Conway hasn't been the only girl
who's ever turned to promiscuous sex

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because of loneliness.

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Many insecure girls who are seeking
companionship and who will even accept a

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false notion of love in their
desperation, have, in fact, become

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prostitutes.

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To such girls, being a prostitute means
that they are always in demand by

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someone.

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They need never be lonely again.

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But during my past 27 years of
practicing psychotherapy here in San

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have talked many times with such girls,
and I can readily assure you that far

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from being chic and happy call girls.

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Many prostitutes are very sad creatures.

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They all have their stories to tell, how
they became prostitutes, their reasons

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why, and of course they can talk also
interestingly for hours about the

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different kinds of men and women who
have come to them for their services.

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More often they come to a prostitute for
offbeat, even bizarre sex acts.

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00:28:28,460 --> 00:28:32,640
They want things from prostitutes they
would be afraid to ask for from their

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wives or girlfriends.

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00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:40,300
This is, of course, an example of the
individual not feeling completely free

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give way to his true basic sex urges
with someone he knows.

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00:28:44,940 --> 00:28:50,300
He thinks his wife or girlfriend might
be shocked if she knew what kind of sex

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he really wanted from her.

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00:28:52,740 --> 00:28:56,880
He believes the prostitute supposedly a
woman of the world.

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will understand him and comply with his
desires no matter what they are.

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And basically this is true.

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Most prostitutes will do anything asked
of them.

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As the girls themselves have told me,
that's what they are there for after

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Sometimes, however, the girl will run
into a very peculiar situation, totally

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surprised by it.

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There is the case of Darla McIntyre, for
example.

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a San Francisco prostitute who picked up
a rather mild -mannered young man at a

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cocktail lounge one evening a few years
ago, and then went back with him to his

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apartment.

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00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,260
He told her he wanted to massage her
body.

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00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:46,840
He said he loved massaging girls'
bodies, but that his girlfriend wouldn't

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him do it because she thought massaging
was weird.

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But it was only after Dollar was at his
apartment that she realized he had

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something, Much more in mind than simply
giving her a massage.

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He had other lusts, other desires that
she knew nothing about.

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And she never suspected.

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Until it was too late.

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00:31:53,639 --> 00:31:56,440
No! No!

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00:33:10,260 --> 00:33:11,400
Dala was dead.

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00:33:12,020 --> 00:33:14,480
She never had a chance to defend
herself.

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Dala's confused search to end loneliness
had only succeeded in ending her life.

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00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:25,340
Just as it had eventually ended the life
of Anne Conway.

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00:33:51,790 --> 00:33:54,390
There was another girl I knew who was
like Anne.

236
00:33:55,150 --> 00:33:59,650
But she moved away to Las Vegas shortly
after we graduated from high school.

237
00:34:00,150 --> 00:34:01,430
Her name was Cynthia.

238
00:34:03,030 --> 00:34:07,410
But I have to admit that I was never as
strongly attracted to Cynthia as I was

239
00:34:07,410 --> 00:34:08,409
to Anne.

240
00:34:09,550 --> 00:34:10,929
Tell me about her, Claire.

241
00:34:11,610 --> 00:34:14,670
Well, like I said, Cynthia was something
like Anne.

242
00:34:15,409 --> 00:34:18,710
She always had the gumption to do
whatever she felt like doing.

243
00:34:19,659 --> 00:34:21,719
She wasn't inhibited at all.

244
00:34:22,199 --> 00:34:23,360
Not like me.

245
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:27,699
And she was always very open about what
she liked and didn't like.

246
00:34:28,780 --> 00:34:33,400
She told me she never tried to deny
herself anything at all.

247
00:34:34,100 --> 00:34:37,440
If she wanted something, she went after
it.

248
00:34:37,659 --> 00:34:39,820
And she usually always got it.

249
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:43,300
She wasn't afraid to try.

250
00:34:43,940 --> 00:34:46,620
To give in her to her desires and urges.

251
00:34:47,639 --> 00:34:49,300
I was always...

252
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:55,719
Did you ever think you were falling in
love with her, Claire?

253
00:34:56,159 --> 00:34:57,160
Who, Cynthia?

254
00:34:57,500 --> 00:34:58,840
No, not at all.

255
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:04,240
I just like to be with her and listen to
her tell me about all the things she

256
00:35:04,240 --> 00:35:05,240
liked to do.

257
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:07,980
Cynthia was a real sex freak, you see.

258
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:12,460
She could tell you the wildest stories
about her experiences in the bedroom.

259
00:35:13,940 --> 00:35:17,700
And I guess when she told me about her
bedroom adventures...

260
00:35:18,110 --> 00:35:20,450
I was living vicariously through her.

261
00:35:21,210 --> 00:35:23,590
I really liked hearing about them.

262
00:35:23,930 --> 00:35:29,290
They were exciting, and I never got
tired of listening to her talk about how

263
00:35:29,290 --> 00:35:30,650
much she liked going to bed.

264
00:35:31,570 --> 00:35:33,250
She really loved it.

265
00:35:33,910 --> 00:35:38,630
Lots of times, she told me about how she
would keep a fellow in bed with her

266
00:35:38,630 --> 00:35:40,990
long after she had exhausted him.

267
00:35:41,870 --> 00:35:46,910
She always wanted more and more, and she
wasn't ashamed to admit it.

268
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,620
Cynthia was something else, all right.

269
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:53,720
Completely free and uninhibited.

270
00:35:54,380 --> 00:35:55,880
She loved it.

271
00:37:36,930 --> 00:37:39,970
No. No.

272
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:23,260
We had some old stag movies we used to
run at our house sometimes.

273
00:38:24,460 --> 00:38:29,300
When we were first married, my husband
bought a projector and we'd run them in

274
00:38:29,300 --> 00:38:30,300
our bedroom.

275
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:35,060
Usually they turned me on so much I
really got wild in bed.

276
00:38:35,540 --> 00:38:36,920
And John liked it.

277
00:38:37,860 --> 00:38:41,480
But after a while, John wasn't
interested in looking at them anymore.

278
00:38:42,140 --> 00:38:44,400
So we put them away in a closet.

279
00:38:46,140 --> 00:38:51,900
But a lot of times when he wasn't
around, I'd bring them out and have a

280
00:38:51,900 --> 00:38:54,420
and look at them by myself.

281
00:38:55,820 --> 00:39:00,620
Was there any one particular film that
you liked better than any other?

282
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:02,940
Actually, there was.

283
00:39:03,500 --> 00:39:06,140
It was called Amy's Two Lovers.

284
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:11,980
It showed this really attractive girl
enjoying herself with a vibrator.

285
00:39:12,860 --> 00:39:16,420
Then later in the film, she put aside
her vibrator.

286
00:39:16,940 --> 00:39:18,660
And made love to a real person.

287
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:20,960
Her boyfriend, I suppose.

288
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:24,480
You say you found this girl very
attractive?

289
00:39:25,140 --> 00:39:26,140
I did.

290
00:39:26,780 --> 00:39:30,100
I... I... Well, I... Yes, Claire.

291
00:39:30,940 --> 00:39:32,060
You what?

292
00:39:32,980 --> 00:39:37,600
Well, she seemed to remind me in so many
ways of Anne Conway.

293
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:40,380
I don't mean that she looked like Anne.

294
00:39:41,140 --> 00:39:44,280
I mean, she just seemed to be the same
sort of girl.

295
00:39:45,580 --> 00:39:48,360
She seemed to be in control of her life.

296
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:51,120
She was a dominating figure.

297
00:39:51,860 --> 00:39:53,540
She seemed so secure.

298
00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:58,200
She didn't seem afraid of what she liked
or wanted.

299
00:39:59,220 --> 00:40:01,780
If she liked to play with a vibrator,
all right.

300
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:03,860
She just went ahead and did it.

301
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:10,040
If she wanted to fool around with a
fellow, any fellow, I got the idea she

302
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:12,320
the kind of girl who'd just go ahead and
do it.

303
00:40:14,350 --> 00:40:16,390
She seemed very uninhibited that way.

304
00:40:16,850 --> 00:40:19,050
And so she reminded me of Annie.

305
00:40:20,470 --> 00:40:24,230
Oh, I used to watch that film of hers
all the time.

306
00:40:24,550 --> 00:40:26,310
Over and over and over.

307
00:40:27,030 --> 00:40:29,230
Again and again and again.

308
00:40:30,270 --> 00:40:32,290
Oh, I was so satisfied.

309
00:41:07,340 --> 00:41:09,020
Where did you get these films, Clara?

310
00:41:09,720 --> 00:41:14,580
After John and I got married, we bought
them from Cynthia's sister, Rosemary.

311
00:41:15,500 --> 00:41:16,500
Cynthia's sister?

312
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:18,680
Yes, I told you about Cynthia.

313
00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:33,960
She was the girl who was a sex freak and
who moved to Las Vegas shortly after we

314
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:35,220
graduated from high school.

315
00:41:36,580 --> 00:41:41,960
Cynthia had a sister named Rosemary, who
was always a bit on the wild side, too.

316
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:45,940
I didn't know Rosemary as well as I did
Cynthia, of course.

317
00:41:46,540 --> 00:41:48,060
But I did see her around.

318
00:41:48,700 --> 00:41:51,200
She was always with some new guy, it
seemed.

319
00:41:52,820 --> 00:41:55,400
I didn't hear many stories in school
about her.

320
00:41:55,700 --> 00:41:59,480
But if you ask me, I think she was just
as uninhibited as Cynthia.

321
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:04,820
Both of those girls didn't care to hold
any urges back.

322
00:42:07,340 --> 00:42:11,540
I guess you might say they were both out
for all they could get in life, by way

323
00:42:11,540 --> 00:42:13,380
of sexual gratification, at least.

324
00:42:15,220 --> 00:42:18,240
Rosemary had some context to get sexy
movies.

325
00:42:18,940 --> 00:42:23,940
And when John and I got married, her
wedding gift to us was a dozen dirty

326
00:42:25,220 --> 00:42:28,100
She said we should watch them and enjoy.

327
00:42:29,300 --> 00:42:31,780
Ah, Rosemary was something else, all
right.

328
00:42:32,260 --> 00:42:35,340
She had such a big appetite for life.

329
00:42:37,100 --> 00:42:38,700
I haven't seen her in years now.

330
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:41,760
But I'll bet she hasn't changed.

331
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:48,060
I'll bet she's still doing what she
likes to do. And doing a lot of it, too.

332
00:43:20,669 --> 00:43:23,390
Thank you.

333
00:44:38,020 --> 00:44:40,820
Thank you.

334
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:13,360
Oh!

335
00:46:13,260 --> 00:46:17,500
Tell me again what happened that day
when you actually realized that one of

336
00:46:17,500 --> 00:46:21,840
secret suppressed desires was to make
love to your girlfriend, Ann Conway.

337
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:26,060
I was at home watching one of the stag
movies one afternoon.

338
00:46:26,720 --> 00:46:28,580
And I'd had a few drinks.

339
00:46:29,300 --> 00:46:35,240
And I suddenly realized that ever since
high school, I'd wanted to go to bed

340
00:46:35,240 --> 00:46:36,480
with Ann Conway.

341
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:38,940
I had a few more drinks.

342
00:46:40,010 --> 00:46:42,970
And suddenly I was on my way to Annie's
place.

343
00:46:43,890 --> 00:46:50,710
Come hell or high water, I knew if I
stopped, I'd never go

344
00:46:50,710 --> 00:46:51,710
through with it.

345
00:46:52,050 --> 00:46:54,270
It was now or never, I realized.

346
00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:30,740
felt my heartbeat quicken.

347
00:49:30,980 --> 00:49:32,220
She shocked me.

348
00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:37,520
She said she wasn't at all surprised to
see me again. The only thing that did

349
00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:42,120
surprise her, she said, was that it had
taken me so long to come. And then the

350
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:45,280
next thing I knew, we were in bed
together.

351
00:49:45,900 --> 00:49:47,220
It was unreal.

352
00:50:26,060 --> 00:50:28,460
I'll ever forget that afternoon with
Annie.

353
00:50:29,420 --> 00:50:32,360
She let me do anything I wanted to her.

354
00:50:33,260 --> 00:50:37,040
Wild, insane things I'd dreamt about.

355
00:50:37,780 --> 00:50:43,520
And I was so frantically excited about
it, I must have climaxed four or five

356
00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:45,460
times the first hour alone.

357
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:48,240
Oh, it was all such madness.

358
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:51,780
It was an incredible day with Annie.

359
00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:55,440
But I never saw her again.

360
00:50:56,720 --> 00:50:58,040
Only that once.

361
00:50:59,500 --> 00:51:02,880
I've never had any desire to see her
again either, Doctor.

362
00:51:04,720 --> 00:51:06,360
But I'm still worried.

363
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:08,940
Am I a lesbian?

364
00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:12,660
Is that really my secret desire?

365
00:51:14,020 --> 00:51:16,440
Well, I don't think you have anything to
worry about, Claire.

366
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:20,500
The fact that you never went back to
Anne Conway.

367
00:51:20,810 --> 00:51:24,550
And the fact you've never had such a
relationship with any other girl either

368
00:51:24,550 --> 00:51:28,510
convinces me that you're still a
perfectly normal young woman.

369
00:51:29,610 --> 00:51:30,630
You'll be all right.

370
00:51:31,570 --> 00:51:33,050
Let me tell you something.

371
00:51:33,850 --> 00:51:35,910
It's about a girl from New York.

372
00:51:36,570 --> 00:51:39,950
Before leaving the aircraft, we'd like
to remind you to please check the

373
00:51:39,950 --> 00:51:44,030
overhead racks, underneath your seat,
and the seat pockets for all your

374
00:51:44,030 --> 00:51:45,030
belongings.

375
00:51:45,290 --> 00:51:47,330
On behalf of your stewardesses...

376
00:51:47,980 --> 00:51:49,760
It's been our pleasure serving you
tonight.

377
00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:51,840
We hope you've enjoyed your ride.

378
00:51:58,980 --> 00:52:05,740
Her name was Josie,

379
00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:08,140
and she worked at an answering service.

380
00:52:08,660 --> 00:52:12,480
She came to me as a patient with much
the same worry you had.

381
00:52:12,970 --> 00:52:19,010
that because she had given in to a
suppressed urge at one time, that she

382
00:52:19,010 --> 00:52:21,310
have become seriously affected by it.

383
00:52:22,690 --> 00:52:28,530
She didn't have a regular boyfriend, and
often after work she'd go to a nearby

384
00:52:28,530 --> 00:52:30,770
singles bar and pick up somebody.

385
00:52:31,890 --> 00:52:37,050
But one night, having had too much to
drink, she came home with a fellow who

386
00:52:37,050 --> 00:52:41,070
promised her that he was going to give
her exactly what she had been secretly

387
00:52:41,070 --> 00:52:42,150
wanting all her life.

388
00:52:43,250 --> 00:52:49,310
You see, Josie had gotten so drunk that
night that she actually admitted to this

389
00:52:49,310 --> 00:52:52,930
fellow, Edward, one of her secret
suppressed urges.

390
00:52:53,570 --> 00:52:59,130
At first, they played around with each
other, but after a while, they got down

391
00:52:59,130 --> 00:53:05,330
to the nitty -gritty of Josie's secret
sexual fantasy, which, for the first

392
00:53:05,330 --> 00:53:07,870
in her life now, became a blunt reality.

393
00:56:15,720 --> 00:56:16,720
Please.

394
00:56:50,220 --> 00:56:55,240
When she came to my office here in San
Francisco some years later, she told me

395
00:56:55,240 --> 00:56:57,220
she had really freaked out that night.

396
00:56:58,120 --> 00:57:01,840
It was like nothing she had ever
experienced before.

397
00:57:02,600 --> 00:57:06,680
It was humiliating, of course, but as I
explained to her, that was what she

398
00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:08,120
wanted, to be humiliated.

399
00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:12,140
It was a guilt feeling expressing
itself.

400
00:57:13,080 --> 00:57:17,080
Guilt she felt for picking up a new
fellow each night and thinking too much

401
00:57:17,080 --> 00:57:18,080
about sex.

402
00:57:18,730 --> 00:57:22,410
She wanted to be punished because she
knew she was wrong.

403
00:57:23,950 --> 00:57:27,690
Outwardly, that night, of course, she
was so drunk she thought she was

404
00:57:27,690 --> 00:57:28,690
herself.

405
00:57:29,070 --> 00:57:34,890
The next morning, however, she realized
what she'd done and considered suicide.

406
00:57:36,550 --> 00:57:38,870
Fortunately, though, she didn't take her
life.

407
00:57:39,790 --> 00:57:44,250
Instead, she moved away from New York to
start a new life for herself here in

408
00:57:44,250 --> 00:57:45,250
San Francisco.

409
00:57:46,990 --> 00:57:51,430
Then two years later, wanting to talk to
somebody about it, she came to me.

410
00:57:53,230 --> 00:57:58,210
Normally, of course, I would never
discuss another patient's case, but she

411
00:57:58,210 --> 00:57:59,350
given me permission to.

412
00:58:01,830 --> 00:58:04,830
She thought it might help some other
girl with a similar problem.

413
00:58:05,490 --> 00:58:09,510
The problem of self -doubt, like you
had, Claire.

414
00:58:09,830 --> 00:58:13,210
You say she's perfectly normal now,
Doctor?

415
00:58:14,030 --> 00:58:18,370
Oh, yes, indeed. Her secret urge was
something abominable that she had to get

416
00:58:18,370 --> 00:58:19,370
out of her system.

417
00:58:19,830 --> 00:58:22,870
But fortunately, you see, no one was
hurt in the process.

418
00:58:23,710 --> 00:58:28,350
But yes, Claire, she has been cured and
leads a perfectly normal life now.

419
00:58:29,330 --> 00:58:32,450
As a matter of fact... Yes, Doctor?

420
00:58:33,830 --> 00:58:36,370
As a matter of fact, I married her.